What Anxiety Might Really Be Trying to Tell You
Do you ever feel like your anxiety pops up out of nowhere, tight chest, racing thoughts, that gnawing sense of dread, even when everything seems “fine”? Or maybe you live with a low hum of worry that never quite shuts off, no matter how hard you try to distract yourself or stay positive. It’s easy to think of anxiety as the enemy. Something broken inside of you that needs to be silenced or fixed. But what if we looked at it differently?
What if your anxiety is actually trying to tell you something?
Anxiety is a Messenger, Not a Malfunction
We tend to see anxiety as a flaw. But from a nervous system perspective, it’s more like a smoke alarm: your body and brain signaling that something needs attention. Sometimes it’s obvious, like a stressful deadline or conflict. Other times, it’s tied to old hurts, unmet needs, or patterns you’ve carried since childhood.
It might even be your body’s way of saying:
You’re pushing too hard without rest.
You’re ignoring feelings that need to be processed.
You’re stuck in people-pleasing or perfectionism to avoid conflict.
You’re living out old beliefs that you’re unsafe or not enough.
How Unresolved Stress and Past Experiences Fuel Anxiety
Your nervous system is wired to keep you safe. If you grew up in an environment where love felt conditional, mistakes brought harsh criticism, or you had to stay hyper-aware of others’ moods, your body learned to stay on alert.
This is why even now, decades later, your heart races or your stomach knots up in situations that aren’t actually dangerous. Your body is replaying old protective patterns.
It’s not your fault. It’s simply how your system learned to survive.
What Can You Do About Your Anxiety?
Get Curious, Not Critical
Next time anxiety shows up, instead of shaming yourself or trying to shut it down, try asking:
What might this be trying to protect me from?
What need of mine is going unmet right now?
Where might I be overriding my own boundaries or intuition?
This shifts you from fear to gentle self-inquiry.
Learn to Regulate Your Nervous System
Small daily practices can teach your body that it’s safe to relax. Things like slow belly breathing, grounding exercises (like feeling your feet on the floor), or spending time in nature help calm the alarm bells.
Get Support to Untangle the Roots
Sometimes anxiety is layered, woven from past trauma, stuck grief, or deeply held beliefs. Therapy offers a safe place to explore these roots, process old wounds, and learn new ways to respond.
Healing isn’t about never feeling anxious again. It’s about learning to hear the message underneath and building trust that you can handle whatever comes.
If you live with anxiety, please know this: you’re not failing. You’re not weak. Your mind and body are doing their best with what they’ve been taught. And with the right support, you can learn to understand your anxiety, meet it with compassion, and gently retrain your nervous system to feel safe again.
If you’re ready to explore what your anxiety might be trying to tell you, we’re here to help. Together, we can work through the layers, build resilience, and help you feel more at home in your own mind and body. Book a free 20 minute consult with one of our Masters level counsellors, or contact us for more information about our counselling services in Victoria BC, Cobble Hill BC and online across Canada.
